The Big Event - Part 1 (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Cricket)

Well, the deed is done, we're married, and it went off almost without a hitch. It was a great week, a fantastic weekend, so many people I know and love from all parts of my life and all parts of the world, all in one place...I couldn't have asked for more.

As I mentioned in the previous post, we arrived last Monday night/early Tuesday morning in Pittsford, NY, having driven for more than 13 hours. Kia's family was up waiting for us but we all shortly went to bed, as it was about 2:30am.

The next couple of days were full of buying things, and filling bags, and constructing various pieces for the aisles or the tables, and making table assignment charts, and cutting ribbon, and anything else you can imagine. Luckily, Hilda arrived Tuesday night to help with most of it. She was, as I may mention later, voted the wedding MVP, and this is one of the reasons why. She helped stuff bags, and cut ribbon, and basically do anything else we asked her to do, and she was a trooper. She also, as I may mention later, picked up Pete. I wish I had a picture of that here. Yes, she indeed was the MVP.

Anyway, that's how the middle of the week went. Thursday night was spent doing all of the aforementioned stuff, and sometime around 3:30am we gave up trying to create the table seating chart and went to bed. The next day was Friday, and that's when people started arriving. David arrived at the airport around 11am, and I went to pick him up in Kristin's X-Terra (nice car, by the way). My first groomsman had arrived. It was great to see him, and it started hitting home that this really was the weekend, I really was getting married, and more people were on the way.

We went back to the Treier residence, sat out on their back deck and talked, and had cold drinks and snacks. I honestly can't remember what else happened in the interim, but a few hours later, people started arriving by the carful. Scoring an improbable, come-from-behind victory was the first black VW Jetta carrying Aaron, Jesseca, Dave, and Neil, quite sweaty due to lack of AC in Dave's car. And there was much rejoicing and some chaos as everyone made their hellos and welcomes and hugs and handshakes abounded. Shortly thereafter the second black VW Jetta arrived, carrying Pete and Bekah. Yes folks, Pete and Bekah arrived later, despite having a sassy GPS that would talk to them and tell them where to go. Anyway, everyone was there for now, and that was good.

For a while, we just hung out, talked, basically enjoyed each other's company. Somewhere in there, Aaron (yet another Aaron) and Lena arrived from Florida. Around dinner time, the guys got their bearings and some directions from Mapquest and headed out for the Bachelor Party.

It was decided that given our large numbers, we should take a large car. Thus, we all piled into the Suburban, measuring somewhere around 122 feet in length and having the capacity to hold approximately 28 full grown men. We were off. The first order of business of the evening was to feed ourselves. Seeing as how food was more a chore we had to get taken care of, rather than the event itself, we were willing to go anywhere. And yet, it was was harder than you might think to find somewhere acceptable. In the end, we settled on Bugaboo Creek. We got some beers. Big beers. And salads. Eh, not so big salads. Pete even ordered a couple of rounds of shots, but I don't think they're that kind of restaurant, so they refused to give us any more after the second round. Other highlights included the animatronic animal heads that would talk periodically, and the spotlight that shined on our table when the fish above us would talk. The food was good, I think just what we were looking for, and we took off for the next location.

Back into the Suburban, we jumped onto the highway and headed for Batavia, where we were planning to ride some go-karts, play some mini-golf, play video games, and shoot each other with paintballs. When we got there, we realized we were the only ones there. While at other times this would be a bad omen, we took it as a GREAT sign. We can be complete idiots and won't ruin anyone else's night. First order of business was to ride the go-karts, which we did with much glee two or three times. At first we were well-behaved, but somewhere in the final run we started bumping each other and making each other spin out. The guys running it didn't care for that, but what can you do.


The website promised batting cages, but there were none to be found. Instead, we played video games and air hockey. I got tooled by everyone in air hockey, except Neil, who "let me" win. As the place was closing, we decided to seek out the paintball that was also promised on the website. We were told it was a few miles down the road. Into the Suburban we went, and off we drove.

It was a few miles down the road, like we were told, through a small town and apparently right by a carnival or fair of some sort. Eventually, after a stop at a gas station and an ice cream place to get directions, we arrived.

The place is an old Jello factory. That's excellent. Already it has character in my mind. We pull into the parking lot and go to what looks like the door, where two guys are sitting outside. We ask if it's the place, then go up and see what's doing. We see a guy, pay some money, get some guns, paintballs, and of course masks, then go into the waiting room. Despite what we had hoped (which was that we would just be able to play by ourselves), there are other guys waiting. They have their own guns, their own paintballs, their own masks, and their own paintball codenames - like "Cricket". This was going to be fun.

After receiving the rundown of the rules, and warnings of potential octopus-sized welts on our legs and arms, we went in. The field is a series of rooms, all essentially empty except for big inflatable red things that serve as bunkers to hide behind. In the first game, the newbies (all of us) were on one team, while all the old pros (including Cricket, and another guy who only allowed himself one shot per game - Pete thought he was "simple") were on another team. The newbies were told to walk, so we all put on our masks and made our way through room after room to the other end of the factory. We then stood there staring at each other, wondering what the hell we were supposed to do now. Soon (too soon) we heard the refs start the game, and I really can't remember what happened after that. I think a few of us split up, Pete might have hunkered down behind one of the inflatable things and tried to pick people off. I have no idea. All I know is that it was over incredibly quickly, which was a relief in a way. From there on out, the teams were mixed up.

It was a pretty fun way to spend a few hours. You kind of get the thrill of being in combat while knowing you're not actually going to die. You can sneak around the rooms and wield your gun and hear yourself breathing in your mask. Kind of gets the adrenaline up. Especially rewarding is when you can manage to stay alive for the entire game, and you return victorious. Everyone has war stories, everyone has scars, small as they may be. Well, Neil's certainly wasn't small. Despite the mask on his face, he got smacked on the forehead with a well-placed paintball, leaving a welt the size of a golf ball. Fortunately, he was able to hide it well with his hair during wedding photos. But he wins the prize for that one.

When it got late, we had to take off. Our paint-covered selves got back into the Suburban and pointed ourselves back in the direction of Pittsford. It was a pretty subdued ride home, as people were any combination of being exhausted, dehydrated, and suffering from the initial symptoms of PTSD. But we made it back to the Treier's house, then quickly got our stuff, got back in the Suburban, and got on the highway in the direction of Geneva, where our hotel was. Sometime around 1:45am we pulled in, checked in, and promptly went to our rooms. Sleep was in order.

This ends part 1 of The Big Event. Part 2 soon.