The Bleachers

I'm going to the Cards-Cubs game tomorrow (Sunday) night, so if you've got ESPN take a look. Maybe you'll catch a glimpse of me. It should be fun. I haven't gotten a chance yet to see the rivalry up close. And it'll be my second game in about three weeks. We went to a Saturday afternoon game a few weeks back. Chilly, overcast, low-scoring. In fact, St. Louis didn't score at all. San Francisco had a solo homer and a couple of other runs, and that was it. The game was over in about 15 minutes.

The most notable part of the game was one of our fellow fans. We were sitting in the left field bleachers and sat directly in front of a woman who gave us a warning when we sat down.

"You must be new," she said. "Just to warn you: I'm loud."

No problem, I thought. I've heard a lot of ballpark knuckleheads before. I can deal.

After a pretty uneventful top of the 1st, the Cardinals came to bat. And our lady friend went to work.

Skip Schumaker steps to the plate to lead off the inning.

"COME OOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN, SKIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!"

Mind you, she's right directly behind our heads, in the row right behind us.

Next is Chris Duncan.

"HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEEEE WEEE GOOOOOOOOOOO, CD!"

At first, people in her general vicinity look around at each other, laughing nervously. No one really knows what to do. But she's clearly a regular. She's greeting people as they come into the bleachers to sit down, asking about friends, family members, recent surgical procedures. She's calling the vendors by their first names, and they are returning the favor.

Eventually, she gathers support. People get into it and accept it as part of the bleachers experience. She even gains some new recruits who are sitting in the same row. They start doing her chants, her cheers, her sayings. She hands out t-shirts which explain "the rules" that you must follow and live by if you are going to sit in the left field bleachers. I wasn't lucky enough to receive a shirt, but I believe one of the rules banned cell phone use during the game. I'm certainly in favor of that one. I'm sure there was something stipulated about no Cubs jerseys. Anyway, by the end of the game, I game to realize that this woman in the row directly behind us was probably a Busch Stadium institution. And like it or not, if you sat around her you were going to hear it all.

I wish I could remember all of the sayings (or yellings) that she had. Everytime a guy whose last name was Izturis came up, she inexplicably yelled "COME ON, ITCHY!" I guess that's close to Izzy. And since the Cardinals already have an Izzy, you've got to go with Itchy on that one. Following foul balls with two strikes, our friend would also invariably scream the following:

"AAAAAH! AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! STAYING ALIVE! STAYING ALIVE!
AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! STAYING ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
STAYING ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! TWO RBIS!" (or however many RBIs were possible at the time)

The best was when a Cardinals player would make the third out, killing a rally. This would prompt the following muttering: "Son of a biscuit-eating basketball player!"

I also wish I had at least gotten her name, so I could refer to her as something besides "that loud lady behind me at the Cardinals game." Oh well. Maybe tomorrow night I'll get a chance to ask her.