D N C-ya later

I realized I hadn't given any updates on the vaca (that's short for "vacation") that I took with the fam (that's short for "family") in Boston/Maine. Kia came with me, so it was the five of us (me, my sister Kate, Kia, Mom, Dad) in a small house on a lake. Very relaxing, very quiet. The first couple of days, a husky from next door came and said hi to us. That was nice and it helped with the dog withdrawal symptoms we were both feeling. There was some canoeing, some fishing (although I got not so much as a nibble), some swimming (although the bottom of the lake had lots of grass and stuff and I'm squeamish about that sort of thing), and a bunch of puzzles. Our prize piece was one by Van Gogh. Boy, could that bastard paint a puzzle. Best puzzle painter I've ever seen.

Other events not to be forgotten:

-I grew facial hair until I was sick of it, just to make sure I could. I had never really tried very hard, so I thought it would be a good thing to do. I got what you might consider a beard, then shaved it to a goutee, then to a skeezy looking mustache. All was documented on film, if you'd like proof. I wouldn't recommend it. Just take my word for it.

-Whitewater rafting. Oh yeah, it was fun. Parts of it were incredible and exhilarating. During the safety lecture, my mother had second thoughts about the whole thing and almost bailed. But she ended up having a very good time. None of us fell out of the boat. And we went through Class 5 rapids, the highest you're allowed to go through. Boo-ya.

-I kicked Kia's ass at Monopoly. I don't think she has the killer instinct to win the game. I kept piling on the houses and hotels, but she just wanted to keep what she had so I wouldn't lose any money. Very sweet of her. I put some hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place. She didn't last long.

-Golf. I played with my dad for the first time in 2 years. Surprisingly, I was not as bad as I could have been. I had 4 pars. I was relatively pleased. For 9 holes, we played with a local kid, maybe 17 years old, who was a member there and gave us all the tips for how to play the holes. He told us that one summer he played 54 holes a day (fifty-four), three or four days a week. If you're going fast, and I mean whipping through the course, you can do 18 holes in 4 hours. 54 holes would take you 12 hours, minimum. That's sunup to sundown, 3-4 days a week. Badass.

-Mini golf. I lost. To everyone. I demand a rematch.

-The house we stayed in had a huge cutout of a parrot on the wall and said "Parrot Fever". I'm not even going to venture a guess about that one.

-During the trip, Kia and I frequented as many Dunkin' Donuts as was humanly possible, given that there are none in St. Louis, which I think is absurd. It did make for an interesting diet, though, trying to stuff all of those donuts and coffee into yourself as often as you could.

-Speaking of diet, I also ate clam chowda at every meal out. I counted at least four different restaurants where I had it. And they were four different chowdas. Not one the same as any others. Fascinating.

-Oh, the title of this post: We got out of town just in the nick of time to miss all of the Democratic National Convention craziness. Apparently, the city was pretty quiet the whole week. I guess everyone else had the same idea as we did.