From the Onion archives...

Coming to your city

It's the First Annual (and possibly Last Annual) Summer Roadtrip 2007. And here's the route we're taking. Starting July 29, we're going from St. Louis to Rochester (possibly passing through Oberlin on the way, time permitting), then to Lexington/Boston, then NYC, DC, Charleston, Atlanta, Nashville, and back to STL, hopefully in one piece.

If you find yourself in any of the places along the way and want to request a visit, let me know. We'd be happy to use your futon and your internet.

Also, in preparation for the big roadtrip, I've been watching some videos of this guy, who's a New York Times reporter doing a big roadtrip of his own. It's good to get you in the mood for some open road driving.

Steve

A while back, Kia bought what we have come to lovingly call Steve . Steve is basically an IPod knockoff, same basic thing for about half the price. And it didn't come with a fancy name like IPod, so Kia decided on Steve. So Steve it was, and Steve it shall be.

More recently, we joined a local gym. It's a nice place, has a pool and a basketball court, in addition to the usual weight room and treadmills and such. And it's not somewhere with a lot of meatheads walking around. Just a good place to burn off some extra energy.

The other day, Kia let me use Steve while I was working out. I tuned it to the "Rawk Workout Mix" and let me tell you - when you've got your headphones on, with the right song playing, your whole workout turns into a Nike commercial. Like yesterday, while listening to Steve, Baba O'Riley by the Who came on, and it's like everything I did, everything around me, became more interesting, dramatic, an epic struggle. You know, you're sitting there on one of the machines, taking a breather, and the first few bars of the synthesizer start playing, and all of a sudden the guy on the treadmill looks like a hero, the lady on the stairmaster is overcoming incredible odds, and you, sitting there sweating on some weight machine, are a god among men. It's amazing what a soundtrack can do for some of the more mundane things in life.