I'm getting in touch with my senses

Starting tomorrow, until sometime shortly after the Christmas holiday, I am officially an employee of Pier 1 Imports. Do not adjust your laptops. I am doing stock at Kia's store for the holiday season, opening boxes and doing some assembly, picking up an extra few bucks a week, and generally looking really sexy in a blue apron. I've never had a job where I could wear an apron, certainly not a blue one.

Welcome to my world

Don't feel compelled to read the whole thing, but Bill Simmons is an excellent columnist, and one read-through of his latest column should give you a sense of what I (and millions of others) go through as Sox fans. This is my mindset right here, and he's captured it perfectly.

On another note, I really like the idea that so many races (AL West, NL Wild Card, President of the United States) are coming down to the wire. It's nice. It makes you feel like the teams are fair and the talent is spread out.

Finally: baseball in DC. It's a reality. No more schlepping to Ball-mur. Not that there's anything wrong with Ball-mur, except....it's Ball-mur. I wasn't clear on WHERE exactly the new stadium was supposed to be, though. Anacostia? And confirmation on that?

The Second Season (aka Red Sox Rant #4)

It's official: worst case scenario, the Sox are in with the Wild Card, although I'm still holding out hope for the elusive AL pennant. And despite their desire for it to be a subdued affair, there was champagne a-flowin' last night after their win in Tampa Bay. These guys are excited, as well they should be. It's been a wild ride of a season (isn't EVERY season like that??), and they're going in to the post-season with a lot of confidence.

It's a whole new ballgame, too. It's a new season, a fresh start, a clean slate, and all bets are off. You can pitch your best pitchers, sometimes on fewer days of rest than normal, pull out all the stops, and try to win 4 games before the other team does. Crazy things can happen. I'm looking forward to the ride. Plus, I told Kia that we can't cancel the cable until after the first round, which is on ESPN.

Jay Walking

Conan is going to take over for Jay Leno on The Tonight Show starting in 2009. I'd insert the link, but this is a Mac and won't let me do it, so just go here:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A55834-2004Sep28.html

Swing state debate

Despite some early signs that it might not happen, it's looking more and more like the Kerry-Bush debate will occur here at Wash U on October 8th. The details elude me, but there was some hesitation as to whether it was even going to happen. It looks now like it will. And I have put my name into the lottery for that miniscule chance that I might receive one of the coveted tickets to what will surely be a key event in the campaign. All Wash U students have been warned that we may not even receive any tickets, depending on what the debate committee decides to do. So we'll see. I'd be very curious to see what goes on at these things. And I've got a few questions I'd like to ask...

Masters of the Universe (or Yo MA)

On Tuesday, I gave a talk during the "Clinical Science Seminar" in the psych department at Wash U, which was on schizophrenia and strategy at encoding of words and faces and used neuroimaging. This was a partial fulfillment of the requirements for my master's, and after I submit a paper and some administrative crap, I'm ABJ, MA. This is nice. I was getting sick of putting BA after all of my signatures. And I can finally stop writing GED, or "Good Enough Diploma," as Chris Rock so eloquently put it.

Radiohead: Theme Songs for Psychological Disorders

Just go with me on this one.....

No Surprises - panic disorder
Paranoid Android - schizophrenia
Let Down - depression
The Bends - alcohol dependence
Nice Dream - narcolepsy (this isn't exactly psychological, but screw you -- when you make up your own list, you can do what you want)

Everything In Its Right Place - obsessive-compulsive disorder
Creep - social anxiety disorder

I really think that should be the name of their next album -- "Themesongs for Psychological Disorders." Very Radiohead-ish.

Off to a good start (or...ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL????)

This is not a post about the Patriots being 2-0. That was expected. Bellichick has it under control. Yah Pats.

This is, instead, a post about the newfound hope that accompanies the beginning of the Wash U IM Flag Football season. Oh yes, it's back, and it's better than ever. Last year, our psychology department team (the aptly named "Mighty Muffalopes"...don't ask) ran the table through the season, going a whopping 4-0, getting a first-round bye in the playoffs, winning our semi-final game, only to be crushed by a team from the law school who was smaller, but dammit they were faster. We've come back this year, hungrier than ever, with a new name to boot. We are now The Super Bowl-Sheviks. [ABL, this parallels your ultimate team's disgruntled politician theme.] The Super Bowl-Sheviks today took on the team known as Strategery, and prevailed 13-0.

Next weekend's opponent: The Barry Sanders All Stars.

Quote from Hopkins-De La Hoya fight

Boxing is AWESOME.

"Bernard Hopkins crushed Oscar De La Hoya with a paralyzing left hook to his liver, sending him to the mat with 1 minute 38 seconds left in the ninth round."

Where did he get hit? IN THE LIVER. I don't think I've ever heard that before. Not just a blow to the body. It was the liver. "Hey Oscar, sorry about the fight." "Yeah, I really took one in the liver."

Ok, enough.

Mr. and Mrs. Tweedy

At last, the day had arrived. Last night, Kia and I went to The Fabulous Fox Theatre (that's really what they call it) in downtown St. Louis to see Wilco. It usually hosts plays and dance performances, and the only other time I'd ever been there was to see The Lion King, so this was a bit of a weird juxtaposition. Anyhoozle, I've already bragged about this to some people, but our seats were the best ever. EVER. We were in the 4th row of a section called VIP4. How I got tickets into this Very Important Person section, I have no clue. But they were great. Calexico opened, I liked them a lot. I'd seen them once before in DC. They have just about as many instruments onstage as they could fit, without having an orchestra. They even had one guy who played trumpet, guitar, keyboards, and the accordian. You've gotta love a band that uses an accordian.

After a pause, Wilco arrived. I had noticed that some of the people sitting in front of us were on the older side (maybe mid-70s) and thought it unusual that they would like Wilco. But hey, the more the merrier. They also had backstage passes and a cool Wilco poster that I was unable to find at the merch table.

The band sounded great. They originally got their start around here, playing small gigs in Illinois and St. Louis, and Jeff wondered who ever thought that they'd ever end up playing at the Fox, except his parents. That's when one of the women in the row in front of us yelled, "They're right here!" Hmmm. That's funny.

Later, Jeff dedicated "Casino Queen" to his parents and asked where they were sitting. The older man and women sitting directly in front of us waved.

Yeah, we were sitting behind Jeff Tweedy's parents.

And I think his sister was there too. She did strike an uncanny resemblance to Jeff. Unbelievable. That made my night.

Daily Show book

If I wasn't poor-ass broke, I'd definitely pick me up one of these. It's a book by the Daily Show folks, supposedly in textbook format, about American democracy. Sometimes, and this is just sometimes, I wish Jon Stewart was my uncle or something, so he could come to family get-togethers and barbeques and stuff and you could just sit there and listen to him talk. Well, either him or Conan. And judging by the look of me, it's much more likely that I'd be related to Conan than Jon Stewart.

Awful senior photos

This website has captured the awful goodness of yearbook photos. Take a gander.

More TV Sports! Woo-hoo!

More stuff from the wide world of TV sports (whooo!!!)

-I rescind (sp?) what I said about televised poker being the biggest waste of time out there. It is, without a doubt, televised darts. Darts. Darts! DARTS!!! ON TV!!! BAHHHHHH!!!!!

-I hate to admit it, but that Gatorade commercial about Mia Hamm kinda gets me weepy, especially when Nomahhh comes on. Ok, I miss him! God, breaking up is hard to do!!!

-Every time anyone from this university mentions its name, they call it "THE Ohio State University". Like there are lots of competitors, but we're the original. It's not just ANY Ohio State University; this is THE Ohio State University.

-Condoleeza (sp?) Rice was at the Packers-Panthers game tonight. Well, how 'bout that? Apparently, when her government career is over, she wants to be the Commissioner of the NFL. I'm hoping she'll be up for that job reeeeeeaaaaaal soon. Like, say, November 3rd.

My attempt at comedy

I was running something through my head the other day and found myself saying "guess-timate". I think I associate that word with sleavy middle management type people, who use it in the context of "guesstimating next quarter's budget" or something like that. Anyway, it just has bad connotations for me. And it started me thinking, when do we ever just combine words and make a new one, as if that's ok? The only two examples I think are "brunch" (best meal ever) and "metrosexual". Anything else is off limits, in my book. And that's my attempt at a stand-up comedy routine. Thank you.

TV Sports! Wooo!

Things noticed while watching TV sports:

-I think baseball players must be the most superstitious athletes and have the most rituals of any professional athletes. Have you ever seen what they do before going to bat, or after a homerun, or before even stepping on the field? Some of them have separate hand-game rituals they do with each player on the bench after they score a run. It's like elementary school. And of course, our friend, Nomar, was the most ritualistic of them all. Same routine with the batting gloves at the plate before every pitch. Frankly, I'm pretty sure he had OCD. And that's my clinical opinion.

-Additionally, a disproportionate number of baseball players have gotees. That I find strange. It seems like everyone's got one. This is a facial hair fad that people not too far in the future will find enormously strange. "You mean they just grew hair on their chin and above their lip?"

-I just caught a minute of a football game between Oregon St. and Boise St., and that's all I could take. They were playing on BLUE turf. Fake grass, horendously painted blue. It felt like my TV's color or tint settings were all wrong. It hurt my head. It gave me an immediate hangover. Blue turf. With bright orange lettering mixed in. No wonder no one goes to Idaho.

-Gotta love those O's. Thank you, Orioles, for completely shelling the Yankees pitching staff tonight. I and the Sox thank you.

Well endowed

Holy crap, where am I going to school?? The Wash U paper has a front-page story that announced the results of their most recent financial campaign, which totalled $1.5 billion. Yeah, that's right: $1,551,350,170. As a result, Wash U will create 165 endowed professorships. That just blows the mind.

The Verdict

Well, what we've got is: a Moose. Our dog is Moose. Thank you all for your help (well, Aaron). Unfortunatly, none of you wins the prize. Please try again next time, when one of you may get to name our first-born.

And no, we're not naming our first-born B.F. Skinner. Possibly Rembrant Q. Einstein. And Max Power is definitely still in the running.

Not Fido

ABL is right. I will solicit names for the new dog here in this very blog.

Suggestions please.

Not Fido or Rex. Or Sparky. And nothing that sounds like a human name.

And Manny makes two

Introducing, Manny. No, not that Manny. The Manny of whom I speak is the newest addition to the canine crew here in our apartment. We got him today from the Humane Society. He's like a bigger version of Teak, our little terrier mix, so for anyone who was scared of our little itsy bitsy dog (you know who you are), you might not want to visit for a while. Manny is about a year and two months, all black, a lab mix of some sort. Very sweet, pretty calm so far, hopefully he'll be a good influence on the other one. Probably going to change his name, although I do like it for obvious reasons. It might bring us luck in the post-season.

Stein-butthole

WHOA WHOA WHOA. There's a huge, life-threatening, killing machine known as Hurricane Frances (not to mention the one that hit Florida last month too), and George Steinbrenner is complaining about the Devil Rays missing the first game of a double-header????? He's complaining to major league baseball and thinks that Tampa Bay should have forfeited the first game. WTF? Huh? Dick. Absolute dick move. You're in first place, George. People have died, George. Sometimes there are more important things in life than your damn Yankees.

Ass.

Why are all the wackjob screwballs named George?

Baby got baptism

At first I wasn't sure if this website was real, but now I've gotta think it's not. It's just too damn funny. I mean, come on..."My uncle is a man named Steve, not a monkey". That's good stuff.

Featured on one of the pages was this hip hop ditty, to be sung to the tune (if you will) of Baby Got Back:

She got baptized but she don't know why
All she can do is coo an' cry
'Cause when a girl gets elected inna bitta haste
An' don't know His Saving Grace
She gets sprinkled, Inna shallow font
No full immersion, just a front
She's not Jesus acceptin'
Ain't nuttin' but a baby wettin'
No, gotta axe Him be your Save-ya
Your Faith professa'

Tha Bible tried to warn yall
Nevermind your Pope, who's all
"Me so holy!"
Well, forget ol' St. Austin
Council of Mela don't mean nothin'
Mark sixteen, sixteen... belief before ya get tha sheen

Ya gotta know Him
To get tha ball rollin
'Ya met, wet, then born again with no regret

I'm tired of heresies
Saying baptism's all you need
Salvation is by Grace through Faith, ya know
But baby knows zero, so

Mothers (praise!), fathers (praise!)"Suffer them to come to Me" (hallelujah!)
But sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle don't do a thang
Baby got baptism

Test

Hey guys, I'm trying something new, and I'm not sure if it works yet, but if you see ads above my blog, try clicking on them. Maybe something good will happen. I don't know yet.

The 10 most hated men in rock

The Riverfront Times is a left-leaning, muckraking weekly paper roughly equivalent to the CityPaper in DC or other similar publications. Local news stories, music and restaurant reviews, movie listings, etc. This week they have an interesting list of the 10 most hated men in rock.

More reasons to love Jersey

Watching Garden State last night, I discovered something: Zach Braff listens to the same music that I do. That was kind of cool. There's even a scene where he first meets Natalie Portman (aww yeah) and introduces him to the Shins. Although that's not really how I first heard of them (as far as I remember), there were definitely lots of parts of the movie that resonated with me. The sort of post-college, not really sure what you're doing with your life yet, coming back to your hometown and seeing people you've known since you were a kid kind of feeling was familiar. Comparisons have been made to The Graduate, which I think were somewhat accurate. Overall, I think I'd see it again, especially since the guy who plays Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings plays the dad.

Another similarity: Zach Braff has a blog. I think this is a sign. Of what, I don't know.

Get out the map

Listening to "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas earlier, it got me thinking about geographically-named bands. I know there are lots, but were any really really good? I feel like if your name is a city or a country or something, chances are you were a mediocre 70s or 80s band. The ones I could come up with:

Kansas (as mentioned)
Chicago
Boston
New York Dolls
LA Guns
Alabama
Little Texas (Kia informs me that this is a country group)

More?

We could get into songs with geographic references, but that could take a while.

DJ Beej

Dude, it's my calling. Forget this psychology crap. I'm moving my ass out of St. Louis and to LA. I'm gonna spin on the wheels of steel.

Night Court (or, Sitting around, waiting to be judged)

I was scheduled to be judged twice yesterday: once for the condition of the apartment that Kia and I recently vacated, and once for the heinous red light running offense I commited in July. The first one didn't work out so well. After going to the old apartment at 10am for the inspection and waiting 45 minutes, I finally went to the maintenance office to see what was going on. The secretary seemed to have my appointment in her book, but then when the actual inspector woman showed up, she seemed to have no idea that I had an appointment for 10am that day. Ok. Fine. And then I was told that maybe they could get to it Tuesday and the security deposit would come 2-3 weeks after that. Alright. I could have used that money big time to buy some books and keep my car from falling apart, but I'll deal.

The red light incident (and it's not as exciting as it sounds) was resolved a little differently, but at least it was actually resolved. I almost didn't go, but I thought better to just get it over with than drag it on. Plus, it makes a good story for the blog. My ticket told me to go to court at 7pm, but I had been told to show up early and get a good place in line. So I did. At 6, I found where I was supposed to be: the side of a building with a little sign outside that indicated that there was a court inside. As it so happened, I was fifth in line, lucky for me. I, and the huge line of people who showed up behind me, waited in line outside for about an hour, then were let in, metal-detected, and told that if we were just going to pay we could get in line to pay. I tried to do that, but was then told I had to see the judge. So I had a seat. I started looking at the signs on the walls, some of which read "I will raise my hand when I want to speak" or "Treat everyone with respect". Then I realized that the court doubled as a preschool.

When the bailliff (or whatever he was) said that anyone who was pleading guilty could get in line to see the judge, nearly everyone jumped out of their seats. I'm not sure what they were guilty for, but they were ready to admit it. Eventually, I got up to the front, where the judge told me it would be two points on my license and $103.

All in all, it could have been worse. The people standing in line with me were the best part. But I don't think I'll be going back to that part of town again.

And on the way back, who do I happen to see making his rounds? That damn ice cream truck.

Moby continues...(aka Democrats are the Avis to the Republicans' Hertz)

'example b: dating.
democrats are the bright, conscientious, responsible guy in the corner of the party and republicans are the loud, boastful, arrogant guy in the middle of the room. the bright guy in the corner thinks 'that loud guy in the middle of the room is a jerk and eventually everyone will see him for what he is', but the loud guy goes home with the hot girl and the bright guy in the corner goes home alone.

my point?
yes, radiohead are better than ashley simpson.
and yes, the bright, interesting guy in the corner is better than the loud jerk in the middle of the room. but ashley simpson and the loud jerk in the middle of the room know what people want, and that's why they(and the republicans)are winning.
democrats are nuanced and complicated and republicans are simple and sound-bitey.
people want bright shiny simplicity, not dark obscure complexity.
the democrats put their trust in people's better instincts whereas the republicans put their trust in people's basest instincts.
and that's why the republicans are winning, because they're not governed by ideals, they're governed by results. the republicans want to win no matter what, whereas the democrats want to win because the public will, hopefully, recognize the primacy of their ideas.
and that's why democrats are the step-child party. that's why democrats are the avis to the republicans hertz. that's why democrats are the runners up. because the republicans know how to sell and they know how to win.
of course my hope is that the democrats will learn from the republicans and learn how to win.
but too often it seems that democrats take the 'high road' when the noble and effective thing would be to join the battle in the trenches.
republicans are dirty, and will stop at nothing to win. we saw in 2000 that when democrats take the 'high road' that they lose.
so that's the choice, democrats: take the 'high road' and lose, or learn how to compete in the real world and run the risk of winning...
bill clinton did it, and he won.
al gore didn't do it, and he lost.
i hope that john kerry learns from bill clinton...
-moby'

Moby keeps it real

From Moby's online journal, then put on Radiohead's website:

'you know what politics is/are like in the united states?
it's like pop-music and/or dating.
example a: pop-music.
republicans are like ashley simpson, and democrats are like radiohead. radiohead fans will forever be mystified as to why someone would buy an ashley simpson cd, but ashley simpson's handlers/managers understand what the lowest common denominator are looking for and they give it to them. radiohead fans think 'that disposable pop music is terrible, and someday people will see the error of their ways and buy radiohead cd's instead of ashley simpson cd's', meanwhile ashley simpson and her managers are selling millions of records.'

[Not to mention the fact that Ashlee Simpson is profitting HUGELY from the success of an older relative. Hmmm, that sounds really familiar for some reason....]

Potpourri

I'm certain that I slaughtered the spelling of that word, but rather than confirm this, I've decided to remain blissfully unaware. This is a recount of some things on the table lately:

Kia's just started taking an architecture class and a design course for her program in interior design. It's kind of funny, because one day she wants to throw away my copies of Rolling Stone, and the next she wants them for a scrap book project. And she has to learn a whole new way of writing for architecture, even though she's not going to be an architect. So she writes rows and rows of alphabets, A through Z, plus a couple of other random characters, like %. Shopping lists, too. It's weird to see ketchup and toilet paper written on the fridge in perfectly symmetric uppercase characters.

In other news.....Indians 22, Yankees 0. That's just too sweet for words. I'll sit on this one and just sort of feel the glow. I've heard people say that a loss like that will just get the Yankees fired up and make them play better. Ummhmm. Whatever helps you sleep at night, knowing that Steinbrenner just watched you get your heads handed to you by a middle-of-the-road team from Cleveland.

And I started classes again today, although didn't actually have any of my own. I went to the class I'm going to be a TA for, Experimental Psychology. I get to make undergrads understand the lovely concepts of construct validity, reliability, and semantic priming. And I went to a seminar on ethics, which we're required to attend once a month for the first two years of grad school. This month's gripping topic: Use of human subjects.

Final thought: Televised poker? I mean, what? Why? How? It's still unclear to me how people can watch it. It's not for the eye candy, that's for sure. Have you seen some of those guys? It's obvious that they don't get away from the table much. Anyway, I thought maybe someone could clear that one up for me.